My missing part

I'm reposting this from HydranAngels, where I originally wrote it.

"I find myself occasionally looking for something I've lost.

"I'll go into my little guy's old room and, for a split second, I'll think, something should be here that isn't; what is that, anyway?
Or I'll drive past his old therapy place and feel the mental reminder click in, "Oh, it's Tuesday. We should be going there today."
Or, most bittersweet of all, I'll have a dream where I'm holding him and taking care of him again, but when I wake up, only emptiness is in the spot my sleep-addled brain remembers so recently there being a little person.

"We go by his gravesite, and as my husband and I sit contemplating silently, I think, Xavier isn't here. This place is so cold, so empty. He was always life and exuberance, happy just to be alive.

"My mind wanders at such times, wondering just what he is doing right now in his little spirit form. Regardless of how illogical it is, I wish I could be with him once more; not for death, just a temporary visitation somehow. Yet I know that even were this possible, I wouldn't be satisfied once the time was through.

"For this reason, I'm thankful for God's plan of salvation, taught in my church, so I know that families can be together forever, and that we can all live together in happiness with our Heavenly Father.

"I didn't intend on this being missionary-oriented, so I hope that doesn't offend anyone. But I suppose it's impossible for me to discuss this topic without bringing my beliefs into it. For more information, please see http://www.lds.org.

"Thanks for reading my vent."